Abstract: A paper intended to inform paediatric nurses and influence service policy and management, adapted from a presentation at an inservice education study day for nurses at Wellington Hospital. The paper grew out of the findings of a small research project undertaken by the author as part of nursing practice in a paediatric ward of Wellington Hospital. The observations of the stress in the experience of infants and parents and the ambiguities inherent in the relationships between parents and nurses were the basis for arguing for changes in nursing practice and ward management.