Abstract: This paper explores the creative opportunities children might have to attend to their emotions and feelings following the death of a parent, grandparent or close friend. It presents the position that often children are left out of the process of caring for an adult when they are terminally ill and that has long term psychological implications. It also suggests that this has antecedents for the white New Zealand culture that were noted historically. In this research the author describes a personal journey that has shaped her current work as a hospice practice manager. The writer explores literature in psychological aspects of removing children from the dying room, creative therapies and the importance of sacred memories for the living child. The need to create memory that will embrace the child as a cloak enfolds them in their crisis stimulated the writer to offer a text in the personal narrative form. This text is presented in this form to enable other clinicians to access their own memories as survivors of grief in their own families. It is suggested that by enabling children and family to explore the importance of relating in the palliative phase of a person's life journey, good memories are created for the survivors.